My Brown Skin✨: The Journey Of My Love Hate Relationship With It

If you ask any brown or dark skin girl, they will tell you that they have come across colorism at some point in their life and I being a brown skin have definitely come across it at numerous stages of my life.

WHAT IS COLORISM?
It is the prejudice or discrimination against individuals with a dark skin tone, typically among people of the same ethnic or racial group.

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As a little girl, I knew that being brown skin meant that I didn’t meet societal standard of beauty. I didn’t fully understand the concept of colourism but I felt it. This has gone on for a long time now. The earliest I can remember was hearing snide comments from extended family members. They probably thought I didn’t understand what was being said about my skin tone.

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     It always went like this, “why is this one not fair like the others?”, “this one come dark oo”, “you’re not as fine as your sister” and others. My mother never really debunked them tho, she just laughed it off like someone indirectly calling your child ugly isn’t upsetting! As I grew up they weren’t so subtle about their dislike for my skin tone. 

      School didn’t make things better either. Only the light skinned girls were picked for different school activities. I was once supposed to be on the school flyer but I got kicked out cause the photographer said that a light skinned girl would be better suited to represent the school. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I was so crushed after the photographer said that. I went to the back of the school building and cried my eyes out. I wasn’t pretty enough to be on the school flyer.

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    I thought colorism was bad till my little sister was born. She was just the icing on the cake. She looked like she escaped albinism. She was the lightest amongst us siblings. The comments directed towards my skin tone became worse. I was the black sheep of the family.

      No one even cares to think that my Dad being dark skinned and my mum being light skinned would produce a brown skin child. Like they weren’t taught biology! Or maybe they just didn’t care.

     Colorism has deeply affected me. There was a time I didn’t like looking at the mirror because I was constantly told and reminded that I wasn’t beautiful in my brown skin. No random you are a beautiful girl or you are so pretty, nothing. 

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    Because of this I’ve found it hard to receive compliments, I always feel that people aren’t being sincere. Maybe a bit insecure. It’s quite sad actually. And to think that a lot of brown and dark skinned girls can relate to this is very heartbreaking💔.

     I often think that if my parents debunked what others said about my skin tone and also made a conscious effort to tell me how beautiful I was, and also build self confidence and love in me, I would have turned out different.

There is no doubt that when I do go out into the real world that I would still be exposed to colorism, but it would have made a huge difference if I was given that proper foundation that darker skin tones are beautiful.

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   Colorism is a big problem in Nigeria. And while some would like to be obtuse about it, it very much exists and is alive and thriving from the media to even at our little corners at home.

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And if you were to ask most brown and dark skinned girls they would tell you that at some point in their life they felt like changing their skin tone to a lighter complexion.

    Well the past can’t be changed and I can’t wallow in that place forever, I have made a decision to make a change. Now I make conscious effort to compliment myself and also accept compliments from others. It’s a bit hard but it’s work in progress. 

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       I also have affirmations on my bedroom mirror and recite them any chance I get. It has practically become a ritual of mine. I also make an effort to tell brown and dark skinned girls that they are beautiful. I know I would have felt good if I was told that when I was younger.

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     Writing this has been quite tough, I’ve had to dig up memories that I’ve suppressed over the years. I’m not exactly where I want to be when it comes to confidence but it’s a gradual process right? This is a reminder to all brown and dark skins that you are beautiful 💗.

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Have you ever experienced colorism?

How did you deal with it?

Let me know all about it in the comment section ☺️👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽. I love seeing your comments 🤗.

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Love, Geraldine 💞🕊